The Morning Report

One of the main topics posted in our blog will be Disney movie reviews.  For now everything is on a scale from 1-10 but that's subject to change as we feel like it.  Here's the basic layout of what categories we'll be reviewing:

Does the leading man have swag like no otha' or is he a scub? (We don't want no scrubs). 

Definitely Swoonworthy. 

Boxed Lunch
Ariel's titties vs Snow White's mom hair.  How good looking is the female lead?

Hell yeah!

Bitch Factor 1-10
Sweet like Cinderella or spoiled like Jasmine?  We're judging you.  

Bitch x10

Kickass Factor 
Pussy or boss?  How well does the protagonist handle adversity?  

  Swift as a coursing river!

True Love's First Kiss
Judging their relationship throughout the story up to their big kiss! 

Too cute!

Pathetic or epic? 

"Hook is a codfish, a codfish, a codfish!"

Animal Friends
Most every Disney film has animal characters even in the non-animated movies.  

Thanks, guys!

Awful Appendages 
Fox Fingers and Goofy Toes (ugh, gross).

So foul. 

Is the main story a tale as old as time or a snooze-fest? 

Pretty obvious. From Paul Smith to Alan Menkin, how fitting is the music from the movie?  

Animation and Cinematography 

Casting and Voice Acting

We love you, JTT!
Notable Scenes

Are You Afraid of the Dark?
What scene traumatized you as a child?  

Frollo + Hell Fire = Deep Psychological Scarring

Quotable Quotes

"You got a problem, Pinky?!"

Overall Disney Magic


  1. Hellfire screwed me up too! Ugh. OH and also, I couldn't watch the scene in Mickey's Christmas Carol when the Future dude throws him down in the grave and there's smoke and flames? Holy crap. Yeah. Scarred me for life.

    1. OMG! I know what you're talking about! When his casket opens and the flames are like nipping at his feet while Pete laughs at him... Totally scary! I forgot all about that.

  2. Ursula gave me the worst nightmares as a child. Goodness I can still remember them. Freakiest shit of my life!!

    1. For sure! It was always scary the way her skeleton flickered after P. Eric stabbed her. Gross.