Monday, May 28, 2012

Disney Princess Hunger Games - Day 1

Here we are Ladies and Gents, the moment we've been anxiously awaiting... Day One of the Disney Princess Hunger Games!  Sorry for the delay, but the gamemakers were otherwise occupied due to Loki trying to take over the world.  Anyway, the princesses are on their platforms ready to go and the countdown is about to begin!  We can see already some of the princesses eying things in the field.  Eilonwy has her eye on that black cauldron but it seems like Tiana is looking that way too.  We'd assume Rapunzel would go for the frying as that is her weapon of choice and wait... is that Thor's hammer, Mjolnir?  How'd that get there?  Looks to us like there are a number of possibilities for how these games could begin.

Take a look over at Ariel.  Is it just us or does Ariel look like she's having a hard time staying on her platform?  That slimy tail must make it hard to keep still.  She better be careful because if she touches the ground before the countdown ends she'll set off the mines around her platform.  She's flopping around like a fish outta water! OH NO!! Looks likes there's sushi on the menu tonight!  How unfortunate for our favorite mermaid princess.  It was over for her before it even began.  Cinderella and Aurora are speechless.

Speaking of Aurora... her eyes are looking a little glazed over,  is that a spinning wheel we see?  The countdown has begun.  Five seconds left and it seems Aurora can't take her eyes off that spinning wheel.  Three... Two... ONE!  And they're off!  Pocahontas and Mulan both run off into the forest without glancing back.

Jasmine and Esmeralda are first to the heart of the cornucopia and both arm themselves quickly.  The other tributes better watch out!  Maid Marian can't seem to make up her mind but now it's too late!  Esmeralda takes the first kill.  She's making her way to Perdita and Lady who are fighting over a bag of "Kanine Krunchies".  They don't even see her coming and Esmeralda claims the first three kills of the game.

It seems there's an alliance forming - Giselle, Cinderella, and Snow White have broken into song and are dancing away into the forest.  Can't wait to see what happens to the three of them.  And it seems our youngest tribute, Penny made it to the forest as well.  Good luck to her!

Surprise, surprise Aurora pricked her finger on that stupid spinning wheel.  Will this bitch ever learn?  She's out but she really only has herself to blame.

Well, it seems our earlier observations were correct and Eilonwy and Tiana both headed for the cauldron.  Eilonwy gets her hands on it first but Tiana grabs it from her and runs off just in time.  Jasmine comes up from behind and that's it for Eilonwy! Jasmine turns to focus her attentions on Lilo but in the scuffle it seems Lilo's been trampled by Nala who runs quickly into the forest.

Meanwhile, it looks like Kida has taken notice of Thor's hammer but it seems she can't lift it off the ground.  She does not behold the power of Thor!  Instead she incurs the wrath of Megara who has picked up a spear and shield.  And that's it for Kida!

Across the field, Belle is reaching for the frying pan.  Does she think it's enchanted?  Before she can pick it up it's pulled out of her reach by a river of long, golden hair. Ooh, burned by Rapunzel!  But Belle seems  intrigued and follows the hair into the forest.

Wendy, meanwhile, has nabbed the conch shell - we hear she's used one before.   But as she turns around she bumps into Alice who stares her down.  They both seem to have come to a mutual agreement and disappear into the forest together, noses high.

The bloodbath seems to be coming to an end.  There seems to be an alliance forming with Megara, Jasmine and Esmeralda.  A formidable and random trio!  It seems they've cleared the field.  But what's that ball of yellow behind the cornucopia?  Apparently, they've noticed it too.  Oh, it's Jane!  We forgot all about her.  She bolts and tries to make a run for the forest but the Trio is close behind.  See Jane, run! Run, Jane, run!  She trips on her petticoats and that's it for Jane.

It's been a few hours now and the sun has set.  Let's check in on a few of the tributes.

A quick scan of the arena and Nala, Pocahontas and Mulan are no where to be seen.  Which is probably how they want it.  

Tiana is making a forest gumbo using her cauldron.  Wonder what ingredients she used for that?  Hope she studied up on poisonous mushrooms before putting that together.  Oops, guess not.  A cannon sounds in the distance.

Cinderella, Snow White and Giselle are singing around a campfire and sewing a blanket made of leaves.

Belle and Rapunzel are sleeping in a tree wrapped in a cocoon of Rapunzel's hair.

Wendy and Alice are both pouting in a cave by a waterfall and making snotty comments.

Penny crying is upstream but close to Wendy and Alice though none of them seem aware of that fact.

Jasmine, Megara and Esmeralda have stockpiled all of their supplies and set up camp.  The three of them look a little too happy to be here.

The cannons have sounded and "When You Wish Upon a Star" is playing across the arena.  The faces of the fallen tributes illuminate the sky for all too see.   An eerie end to an exciting first day of the Disney Princess Hunger Games! Stay tuned to see what happens to the remaining tributes!

Friday, May 25, 2012

The Morning Report 5: Beauty and the Beast

"It's forbidden!"


Directed by: Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise
Produced by: Howard Ashman, Don Hahn, John Lasseter, Sarah McArthur
Written by: Linda Woolverton, Roger Allers
Music by: Alan Menken
Starring: Paige O'Hara, Robby Benson, Richard White, Angela Lansbury, David Ogden Stiers, Jerry Orbach

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Avenger's Assemble!

Hello, readers! We're really sorry we haven't updated like we promised we would but we've become obsessed with this movie you may have heard of called "The Avengers" (and technically "The Avengers" is a Disney movie so we can write about it here.)  Anyway, it all started so innocently,  just a small curiosity about an up and coming film - but then we saw it one morning in IMAX 3D and sadly that was the beginning of the end. As you can gather from the pictures below things escalated very quickly. 

We saw it once...
See how normal we looked in the beginning?  

We saw it twice... 

We ended up seeing the movie FIVE TIMES.  Five times in ten days.   You think that's bad, then we unwisely decided to take a trip to the local Toys R Us and found ALL the things.  The rest of the pictures all take place within a twelve hour span.  

Yep, bought these.

So at Toys R Us we found Avengers movie trading cards and decided we each needed a complete set.  How reasonable.  We got binders, decorated the covers with stickers that we bought at Barnes and Noble, bought card sleeves for our cards, and finished off by putting a few pages in with Avengers MASH,  Favorite Avengers moments, and a printed off list of all the cards so we could mark them off as we got them.  

This is probably half of the cards that we ended
up getting over 3 days.

Oh yeah, and we got Avengers collectible Dr. Pepper cans at WalMart.

Watching Romy and Michelle while putting
our binders together!
Our completed binders!  Ignore Bella's head at the bottom of the picture.
We're each only missing one card from the set.  

So long story short our lives have been consumed by everything Avengers.  It's SO sad.  We've collected mini figurines, posters, puzzles, t shirts, stickers, cards - we've read/watched all the interviews and behind the scenes... it's been very time consuming.  

We're ashamed... but not really.  

So that's what we've been up to.  Then Princess Sparkle had jury duty and Princess Glitter had to go back to St. Louis so we haven't had a chance to focus on the blog.  BUT.  We promise we are working on it tonight!!  We're currently in the process of reviewing "Beauty and the Beast", one of our favorites, and we're finishing up the Disney Princess Hunger Games. We're getting back on track so stay tuned!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Disney Princess Hunger Games - Opening Ceremonies

Hello and welcome to the First Annual Disney Princess Hunger Games!  Here are the tributes that have been selected over the last three reapings and the scores awarded to them by the gamemakers. 

Yowza! This will be some cat fight!  A little sad to see poor, tiny Penny with her rating of zero.  There's GOT to be some sort of law against that.  But you can't win them all!  And if we were Snow White and Aurora we'd sure be hittin' the bottle hard.  Ouch.  Snow White, how do you feel about having the lowest score of the bunch?  Do you think you stand a chance?

 "Well I sure am I trying my hardest, but I'm counting on my seven little men to help me out!  Grumpy, you'll send me a parachute won't you?"

Well, okay Snow White... good luck.  Moving on, so Pocahontas you and Nala are the highest scoring tributes.  What do you think your strengths are in the arena?

"I have a number of strengths.  First of all, I can paint with all the colors of the wind.  As if that's not impressive enough, I know every rock and tree and creature AND the heron and the otter are my friends.  Also, I can run the hidden pine trails of the forest.  Have YOU ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Because I have."

Alright then, guess there will be no surprises from Team Pocahontas!  So Ariel, we noticed that you're a little, how should we say this, "handi-capable" - I mean being half-fish is a definite disadvantage so how to you plan on overcoming this obvious obstacle? 

"Well this all so, so sudden.  I'm just hoping to keep my sea shells on! Maybe it'll be an ocean arena?"

One can hope, Ariel.  So, our next question is for you, Jasmine.  Do you have a plan set for the arena?

"I don't have to have a plan because I'm the daughter of the Sultan.  Father will send me all the parachutes I need.  Besides, I've been outside the palace walls now and Aladdin has shown me the world so I think I know everything there is to know."

Very confident, aren't we Jasmine?  Now, for our canine viewers, let's go on over to Perdita.  Perdita, how have you prepared for the trials of the hunger games? 

"Woof woof."

Very interesting, indeed.  And last but certainly not least, we have our lady from the far east, FA MULAN!  Mulan, we're interested to know what qualities you think you think you possess that will help you compete in the games? 

"I may not be a man, but I'm swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon. I'm paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars, beef, pork, chicken, mmmm. I never want to see another naked man as long as I live.  Dishonor on you!  Dishonor on your cow!  Think before you snack... ACT!"

Wow.  Clearly we need a new translator. 

So there you have it, folks.  Those are just some of the highlights from the Opening Ceremonies. Personally, we think there are some dark horses in the competition so don't discount some of the mid-scoring tributes like Megara or Rapunzel.  Remember, in the First Annual Disney Princess Hunger Games when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are!

Remember to vote for your favorite tributes.  Every vote counts and some of these girls could sure use the sponsors! 



... to be continued...

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Kocoum is Cee Lo Green

A friend sent this to us and we thought it was pretty funny!  Just sharin'. 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Disney Princess Hunger Games - The Reaping Part Three

Finally! The third and final batch of tributes have been selected.  Are you ready for this? Because shit's about to get real.  


May the odds be ever in their favor! 

Brave Heroine or Carrot Top?

Sorry ladies and gents, but we're not buying the new Brave heroine.  We can't quite put our finger on it, but with that hair and her face, she reminds us of someone else... 



And let us tell you, Carrot Top is NOT a good place to start when designing the next disney heroine.  

Also, ginger triplets.  Gross.*

*Disclaimer: For those of you that think we're just hating on gingers, just know that Princess Sparkle is half-ginger herself so no hard feelings.  

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Disney Princess Hunger Games - The Reaping Part Two

This week is the second batch of tributes!  Only two more weeks before they fight for their lives. Have you decided who you want to sponsor, yet?


The Reaping will be in three phases.  Eight Princesses will be selected in each phase for a total of twenty-four princesses.  Once the tributes have been selected, the Princesses will be forced to fight to the death under extreme conditions and we will update you weekly on their progress.  We have scored this week's tributes below on a scale of 1-12 based on their potential to be the Ultimate Grand Supreme. Who will win this bloodbath? Only time will tell! May the odds be ever in their favor! 

The Disney Bitches go to Disney World #1 - Planning Stages

Extra, Extra! Read all about it!!
Like you care. 

What: Disney World/Titanic Museum Trip! 
One day we pitched a tent and strung it with pink and purple lights and thought, "How fun would it be if we were in Disney World right now?"  So we spent the next 3 hours planning our Poor Woman's Disney Vacation.  We're planning on being gone a total of five days, two nights driving and two nights at Disney - and spending as little as possible.  We're also going to hit the Titanic Museum in Branson, MO on the way back!  YES! 

When: October 2012
We want to go to Mickey's Not-so-Scary Halloween Party because we love the villains and Princess Sparkle loves the Villians Mix and Mingle Show!  We're also super excited about dressing up as our favorite Disney princesses.  Seriously the best thing ever.  Besides, we'll get free candy which will help with our food budget.  

Where: Fort Wilderness Camp Ground

This is all that we can afford. 
As Fort Wilderness Camp Ground is the only camp ground on Disney property, this was the obvious choice for pitching our tent.  Also, it was the only option we could afford.  Has anyone ever camped at Disney before?  We're looking for advice!

How: Princess Sparkle's Honda Fit a.k.a. The Bitchmobile 
The Fit is go! 
We're planning on driving from Illinois to Florida while listening to Disney soundtracks and eating a on a strict budget of $5 a day.  We're bringing a cooler filled with hotdogs hopefully funded by our parents (we're 25, btw) and yes, we're going to wear our BFF Mickey Ears the entire way.

Why: We need our Disney World fix sooner rather than later.  
Princess Sparkle just honey mooned at WDW in September (more on that another time) but Princess Glitter hasn't been since 2010.  In short, we're both itching to get back and also to experience our favorite place together.  We know it sounds a little ridiculous but we're really exited and absolutely serious.  We don't care what you think anyway.

This is all tentative for now, but we'll keep you posted as our plans progress!! Disney World here we come!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Disney Princess Hunger Games - The Reaping Part One


The Reaping will be in three phases.  Eight Princesses will be selected in each phase for a total of twenty-four princesses.  Once the tributes have been selected, the Princesses will be forced to fight to the death under extreme conditions and we will update you weekly on their progress.  We have scored this week's tributes below on a scale of 1-12 based on their potential to be the Ultimate Grand Supreme. Who will win this bloodbath? Only time will tell! May the odds be ever in their favor! 

The Morning Report 4: The Princess and the Frog

"The Froggie Pruto!"

Background: The Princess and the Frog (2009)

Directed by: Ron Clements, John Musker
Produced by: Peter Del Vecho
Written by: Ron Clements, John Musker, Rob Edwards
Music by: Ron Clements, John Musker, Greg Erb, Jason Oremland, Don Hall
Starring: Anika Noni Rose, Oprah Winfrey, John Goodman, Bruno Campos, Keith David, Michael-Leon Wooley, Jennifer Cody, Jim Cummings, Peter Bartlett, Jenifer Lewis, Terrence Howard

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Morning Report 3: Aladdin

"You gotta problem, Pinky?!"

Background: Aladdin (1992)
Directed by: Ron Clements, John Musker
Produced by: Ron Clements, John Musker
Written by: Ron Clements, John Musker, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio
Music by: Alan Menken
Starring: Scott Weinger, Linda Larkin, Robin Williams, Gilbert Gottfried, Jonathan Freeman, Frank Welker, Douglas Seale

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

New Fantasyland Updated Schedule

New Fantasyland Opening Schedule: 

Disney Bracket 1: Animals

Setting: In a fight to the death, which disney animal friend reigns supreme?? Will your favorite make the cut?  Everything goes, no holds barred!  (No substitutions, exchanges or refunds). GO!

Notice: The participants in this death match, as well as the order in which they fight, were figured by a completely random process (meaning we just started rattling off names until we had 16 of them).

The Morning Report 2: Sleeping Beauty

"Hail to the Princess Aurora!"

Background: Sleeping Beauty (1959)
Directed by: Clyde Geronimi, Les Clark, Eric Larson, Wolfgang Reitherman
Produced by: Walt Disney
Written by: Erdman Penner, Joe Rinaldi, Winston Hibler, Bill Peet, Ted Sears, Ralph Wright, Milt Banta
Music by: George Bruns
Starring: Mary Costa, Eleanor Audley, Verna Felton, Barbara Luddy, Barbara Jo Allen, Bill Shirley, Taylor Holmes, Bill Thompson

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Disney Prince Real Life Cast

Peter Pan - Logan Lerman
John Smith - Chris Hemsworth
The Prince - Zac Efron
Prince Eric - John Stamos
Prince Charming - Ian Harding
Li Shang - Harry Shum
Aladdin - Avan Jogia
Prince Phillip - Chace Crawford
Flynn Rider - Zachary Levi

Monday, March 5, 2012

Celebrity Princesses

Our vision for IRL princesses.  This is the culmination of 14 hours of sitting in front of the computer (no joke), sweet valley high and bacon.  We need to go to bed.

Mulan - Ziyi Zhang
Cinderella - Amanda Seyfried
Rapunzel - Annasophia Robb
Belle - Emma Watson
Jasmine - Vanessa Hudgens
Aurora - Taylor Swift
Snow White - Leighton Meester
Ariel - Hayden Panettiere
Tiana - Gabrielle Union

New Fantasyland opens this March!

Disney confirmed that the first part of New Fantasyland is opening in late March of 2012!

Opening will be at least one half of the double Dumbo ride, the revamped "Barnstormer" now called "The Great Goofini" and the newly remodeled train station.  This isn't really the most exciting portion of New Fantasyland but we're still pumped to see it open because that means we're one step closer to Ariel's Grotto and Belle's Castle!