The Morning Report 2: Sleeping Beauty

"Hail to the Princess Aurora!"

Background: Sleeping Beauty (1959)
Directed by: Clyde Geronimi, Les Clark, Eric Larson, Wolfgang Reitherman
Produced by: Walt Disney
Written by: Erdman Penner, Joe Rinaldi, Winston Hibler, Bill Peet, Ted Sears, Ralph Wright, Milt Banta
Music by: George Bruns
Starring: Mary Costa, Eleanor Audley, Verna Felton, Barbara Luddy, Barbara Jo Allen, Bill Shirley, Taylor Holmes, Bill Thompson

Disney's Sleeping Beauty is originally based off of the version by Charles Perrault.  The movie has been super "Disney-fied" compared to other older versions of the story which are usually a bit more gruesome.


Swoonworthiness: Prince Phillip - 9

Prince Phillip. *sigh* Where do we even begin?  Well, let's just start by saying that Prince Phillip is fiiiiiiine.  In short, we wouldn't mind him storming OUR castle gates.

Lookin' good, P!  (Photo by David Kawena)

Anyway,  Prince Phillips embodies The Perfect Prince.  He's charming, playful, handsome, not to mention incredibly brave.  He's totally timeless because his appeal stretches from the 1950's idea of a prince to modern times. Also, he took down Maleficent like a boss, which earns major points in our book.


Boxed Lunch: Princess Aurora - 8.5

Princess Aurora is fo sho' one of the prettiest of all the princesses. We love her hair and her graceful way of dancing and moving (unlike us, bumbling around giggling like a bunch of weirdos). She's one of the classic princesses for a good reason. We like to think of her as a blonde Kate Middleton because she's super classy - modern yet traditional.  


Bitch Factor: Princess Aurora - 2.5

"Bitch" definitely isn't the first that comes to mind when you think of Aurora but we think she gets a couple points just for being a big, whiny baby.  I mean seriously, if we were orphans living in the woods and the three fairies told us that we were actually princesses? Random hot guy in the woods or not we'd be like, "HELL YEEAA-UH!  Get me in that dress and take me to my treasures!  I can find myself a REAL prince." We for sure wouldn't have thrown a hissy fit and thrown our fat asses sobbing on the bed.  Besides it all worked out for her in the end. Get over it!

Kickass Factor: Princess Aurora - 0

So there's pretty much nothing about Aurora that gives her any street cred. She's sweet and gentle, all the forest animals love her, and she has three fairies looking after her at all times.  Her defining moment? She pricks her finger and goes down like a bitch, knocking out her entire kingdom in the process.  Way to go, Princess Pussy.  


True Loves First Kiss: Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora - 3.5

Okay, so we know that normally the first kiss between a prince and a princess should be sweet and  adorable, right?  But that is so not the case in this movie. The animation of Princess Aurora is seriously freaky (borderline gross) and we hate the way she looks when she opens her eyes. For the climactic moment in the film, it's super unappealing. 

Villains: Maleficent - 5.5

Usually when you think of scary Disney villains, Maleficent comes to mind as one of the most terrifying, but in our expert opinion she actually is kind of a baby. If you think about it, the whole basis of the story is that Maleficent is butt hurt because she wasn't invited to celebrate Princess Aurora.  Talk about standard makings of a drama queen! We're not impressed. 


Animal Friends: Sampson - 4.5

Besides the forest animals, the most notable animal friend in Sleeping Beauty is Prince Phillip's horse, Sampson. We think he's a good compliment to Prince Phillip; he's sweet, brave and loyal.  But in the end he's not THE greatest we've ever seen (see: Maximus).  

Awful Appendages: 0

There were none.  Thank god.  


Story: 7.5

When you think of fairy tales, Sleeping Beauty is absolutely one of the ones at the top of the list.  The story has all the classic fairy tale elements, with magic, love, adventure,crazy bitches and royalty. Add that together with the magic of Disney and you have a great story that is timeless.

Songs/Music: 6

The score of Sleeping Beauty is really beautiful and well done, as most Disney movies are. It was almost entirely based off of Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty.  However, there aren't many memorable songs or lyrics that stand out other than "Once Upon a Dream". 

Animation/Cinematography: 8.5

The animation and cinematography in this movie gets a high score from us because its totally gorge.  The overall style of the film is very renaissance and we approve.  The long lines, colors and backdrops give this movie a unique look that is Sleeping Beauty. 


Casting/Voice Acting: 4

The voice acting in Sleeping Beauty is pretty appropriate for the times. The casting is legit and the voices fit the characters.  Most notable is Eleanor Audley who voices Maleficent.  She was also Cinderella's mean-ass    step-mother so we guess she's just got that snarky voice that fits upset, middle-aged women.  We also like Bill Shirley as Prince Phillip because he just sounds sexy.  But since we didn't live in the 1950's those names don't really mean a whole lot to us.  We think Chace Crawford would be a good Prince Phillip if they ever decided to remake it!  


Notable Scenes: 5

We think Sleeping Beauty has a couple memorable scenes.  You know, the usual: Prince Phillip and Aurora dancing in the forest, Aurora pricking her finger, and the dress changing from pink to blue (team pink btw).  For sure the most climatic scene is when P. Phillip stakes Maleficent like Buffy the Vampire Slayer with the Sword of Truth.  *swoon*


Are You Afraid of the Dark: 5

We know that when we were little babes Maleficent scared the poop outta us!  The scene is pretty intense with scary colors and loud noises.  Maybe looking back at it now it isn't so bad (not on par with Frollo anyway) but still scary enough to earn a five.


Quotable Quotes: 0

We gave a zero in this category because even though we JUST watched the movie, we can't remember any quotes that stuck out. There aren't any famous lines from the movie either. Not to mention that Princess Cry Baby doesn't say a single word for the whole last half of the movie.  It's pretty hard to quote a film that has no dialogue to begin with.   

 OVERALL DISNEY MAGIC: 6

We know that Sleeping Beauty is one of the classic Disney movies that a lot of people consider a masterpiece, and we don't disagree, but it's not one of our faves. Princess Whiny and Prince Phillip are totally legit, and the animation and music are both beautiful, however there aren't many memorable songs or quotes and the villain and supporting characters are just okay. It's just a fairly standard Disney movie that doesn't meet our criteria for Disney Magic.